Special Moments

(me and sunita, an amazing interpreter)

I don’t know that i will ever come back, is the thing. But, how do I say that to my patient who is welling up with tears about my departure? 

This last week has been hard, because I cant put off the fact that our camp is leaving and less than half the amount of practitioners are coming in our place. Some of my patients wont be able to continue treatment. About half of the patients we see have been coming for a while... They know now how the system works and that we have to go. The other half have started new with us. We took their intakes on the first day and have seen them every time since. Many of these patients have had significant relief from pains or problems that have plagued them for years. Often decades. Sometimes we are the only doctors they have ever seen! So, to hear we are leaving is very, very sad for some.  

On our end, theres an infinite list of reasons why we are all looking forward to getting out of Nepal. Rolling blackouts, sharing rooms, (very) polluted air quality, parasites, infections, no hot water, lack of toilet paper, nothing but lentils and rice.... really, I could go on. Though as soon as 9am hits and a group of familiar faces shuffle into the treatment room, I forget about leaving. Leathery weathered hands clasp together, greeting me with 'Namaste' and friendly shinning eyes, hopeful. So hopeful. Between 9am-4pm I forget all the unpleasantries about this country. In fact, during these hours of the day I don’t want to leave at all. How could I?

Today a patient Ive been seeing since the beginning, gave me a bracelet she made. She then dragged me outside in front of the clinic to take a picture with her phone. When we were outside she told me in broken english “you very good doctor, I will miss you.” Its the first gift Ive received from a patient, ever. She wanted to know if I would think of her when I go back to my home country. 

I will think of her forever. She represents to me an understanding of what i’m doing as a practitioner. The bracelet I now wear around my wrist, I wear with pride. I feel proud today for being a part of this incredible gift of bringing health care to some in need.  

(patient at our satellite clinic, Champe)